Awesome Reader Family Update: Learning to Be a Landlord (Or Even a Decent Human Being)

(Actual texts between this poet and her landlord this very morning. Truly — stunningly — unbelievable.)

*****

Poet to Landlord:

This is to let you know that there is presently a full bag of ice melting over this carpet every day. I can only catch so much of it in the tray I have.

I’m working at getting an electric cooler delivered, hopefully before we have a mold problem here.

*****

Landlord to Poet:

It’s a big refrigerator in the kitchen, use it please, plenty room for your food

*****

Poet to Landlord:

It is unbelievable that you are still instructing me to use a refrigerator which I cannot approach safely, in which my food becomes poisoned and from which it disappears. It’s as though we never communicate at all — every time, I have to explain all over again.

Why don’t you check your own text record to find out what has been agreed before you write new things which are nonsense? Okay?

Of course I am not respected for being worried about your property at all. I should just take that tray back for what it’s needed for and let your mold grow.

Since you don’t appreciate it that I’m still trying to work with you, in spite of everything, for the good of the house, I guess I’ll just save myself a lot of trouble with a stupid cooler, bring in a real refrigerator, and let you rewire the back half of this house.

If you can’t even appreciate cooperation, eventually it stops.

*****

Landlord to Poet:

We make a agreement before you move on, you doing modifications,I never agree. I wanna peacefully, that’s mean you can do whatever you want in my property.

Because I don’t speak and talk your English that’s not make you rights to do other things it’s not in the paper you signed

*****

Poet to Landlord:

You read and write fine when it comes to telling me something different every day.

There have been many agreements between us since then.

We made them trying to work around the criminal roommate you won’t man up to.

Until the kitchen is safe, it’s my legal right to install a full kitchen in here. Now, I think I will.

Unless you decide to go back to working together.

That means knowing what you said.

Check the recent record first.

You are digging yourself into a legal hole here so deep that you will never climb out. It is not okay to treat any lady the way I’ve been treated, and the law does not allow it.

Change your attitude, brother. I’m still doing you favors here, while you complain.

*****

Landlord to Poet:

Ok, like you said the judge will take decision.

*****

Poet to Landlord:

Until then, since you yourself give me no other choice, water will continue to flood your carpet.

All our agreements have been in writing. That judge is going to look at this record and then at you, and you will feel like the kind of creep who would let these things happen to me.

AND: The installation of kitchen appliances is not a structural change.

I’m sure the lawyers will be happy to guide you wrong and steal your money before the judge takes the rest of it.

See you there.

*****

The poet/editor of this website is physically disabled, and lives at a fraction of her nation’s poverty level. Contributions may be made at:

https://www.gofundme.com/are-you-a-patron-of-the-arts