(Dedicated to Sheryl Nelsen Hutton, long-suffering Veep of our Foundation for Poetic Justice, aka the Self-Help Whisperer, whose blog of that name you should way check out, and with whom this poet enjoys a warm, grounded, mutually supportive and at times, um, atypical relationship.
PS: Sheryl — It was the exquisitely timed and presented sideways-headed emoji with the googly eyes and its tongue hanging out which set me off this time. Just so you know.)
She won’t appreciate this, but
We have to say it from the gut:
Sheryl is a total nut!
Even so, we must confess
Weekly weakly readers bless
Every time that she digress!
We’re all under such duress
It’s comforting to us, we guess
To find out she is such a mess!
Each nonsequitor and blunder
Makes us stop a bit and wonder
We might not be so far under
The mark, the cut, par excellence!
Take a break while we commence
This much to say in our defense!
She won’t appreciate it, no
When it gets desperate we know
To last resort can always go:
It might a day be of bad hair
Or stocking ladders, we don’t care —
You think we’re bad? Look over there!
This tribute is a total bust
She used to give us love and trust
Just looks at us like we are dust!
She should tell us to hell to go
But we much better of her know —
She’ll wish it, but won’t tell us so!
It’s not to our faults she is blind
It’s that she’s naturally kind
She knows we are a bit… behind!
Which is the less impolite way
She always finds the way to say
That all us reading lads and lasses
Are really just a bunch of asses!!
‘Rah! ‘Rah! RAH!!!